This world we've created is incredibly lonely. We've all read the studies and heard the stories about how new technologies are increasing feelings of isolation. But that seems like such an easy blame. I think there's more to it than technology.
It's about food. It's at the base of our hierarchy of needs, yet we regularly relegate it to systematic necessity that we try to create efficiencies around to save time for things we've decided are more important. (How corporate does that sentence sound? Exactly.)
Our abuse of life-sustaining forces are turning us into automatons well before that actually happens, as predicted by technology fortunetellers. Our hearts beat, we breath, and I find it amazing. And what's really amazing is that we take food into our bodies and that keeps the whole damn thing operating. Seems like we'd want to value that whole process.
I'm not just talking about eating good food - there are any number of definitions around what makes good food. I'm talking about the entire act of growing food, gathering food, preparing food, eating food, and making that a centerpiece of our lives. This isn't a new idea. The Slow Food movement was started in 1989 at a grassroots level to prevent the disappearance of local food cultures and traditions, to counteract the rise of fast life, and to combat people's dwindling interest in the food they eat, where it comes from and how our food choices affect the world around us.
I've been reading a lot about areas of the world that have been classified as Blue Zones. About 15 years ago, in partnership with National Geographic, Dan Buettner began a research project with renowned doctors and experts to identify places around the world where people live the longest.
For me, it's not about living the longest, its about living a better life while I'm here. Sometimes the isolation and loneliness I feel leads to such deep depression that the idea of living another day seems too unwieldy. So I can't really think about this issue in terms of trying to live longer. But in the rare moments of hope and clarity, I can imagine living a better life.
I'm observing that while there is focus on the diets of people that live in Blue Zones, that's only part of the story. In Blue Zones, streets are made for humans, not cars, and people walk everywhere. In Blue Zones being lonely isn't an option because in these areas the sense of purpose that is felt by the residents has nothing to do with hobbies or jobs but instead their sense of responsibility to their community. With a strong community, if someone doesn't show up, someone will check in on them.
I'm a 43-year-old single woman with no kids, which to me is heartbreaking all on its own. If I had full control over things, this is not the position I would choose to be in. But even for my fellow human beings who have made a conscious choice to be single and childless, the way we've built up our world just doesn't lend itself to building a community if you're not organizing the soccer carpool for your kid. Lately I've been realizing that finding a community in this world we've created requires a Herculean effort that I just don't have the energy to find. In fact, this world is sucking the life force right out of me.
As I write this I am in the throes of a deep depression. Each day I struggle to give a shit about my heartbeat or my breath. I've been in the hole for a couple of weeks now, and about a week ago I started obsessively thinking about food. With what began as very little appetite and even less desire to make anything for myself I've all of the sudden realized that getting down to this basic human need is triggering some sort of survival instinct in me.
So how about food? How about we eat a meal together? How about we create a community that embraces the importance of getting together to share a meal - married, single, kids or no kids.
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